要在现代社会中生存并出人头地，高情商往往比高智商更重要。高情商不仅能让你职场得意，好友成群，还能帮你趋利避害，保持身心健康，拥有成功和幸福的人生。近日热播的电视剧《我的前半生》中靳东饰演的贺涵就是个高情商的典型例子（当然他也有高智商）。那么，高情商的人都有哪些表现呢？

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　　不知你有没有注意过，有时智商一般的人比高智商的人表现更出色？几十年的研究表明，智商不再是成功的唯一要素，情商才是将成功人士与普通人区别开来的关键因素。

　　情商测试和培训机构TalentSmart的创始人特拉维•布拉德伯里列出了一些具备高情商的明显特征，欢迎对号入座。

　　拥有丰富的情感词汇

　　People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling "bad," emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel "irritable," "frustrated," "downtrodden," or "anxious." 

　　高情商的人之所以可以掌控自身的情绪是因为他们能理解这些情绪，并可以用丰富的情感词汇来描述它们。当许多人仅仅用简单的词汇例如“不好”来描述自身的情绪时，高情商的人能够指出他们所感觉到的是“急躁”，“沮丧”，“压抑”还是“不安”。

　　The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it. 

　　你使用情感类词汇越精确，就能越确切地了解自己内心的情绪，这些情绪产生的原因以及应对方法。 

　　对他人感到好奇

　　It doesn't matter if they're introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. 

　　无论是内向型还是外向型的人，高情商者都会对身边的人感到好奇。这种好奇是源于同理心，是高情商的重要表现。

　　拥抱改变

　　Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. 

　　高情商的人是灵活多变并能随机应变的。他们知道害怕改变会麻痹他们并极大地威胁他们的成功与幸福。 

　　不易动怒

　　If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it's difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. 

　　如果你对自己有充分的了解，他人的言语与举动是很难让你动怒的。高情商的人都很自信并且心胸开阔，所以脸皮也就不会那么薄。

　　懂得如何拒绝

　　Research shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. 

　　研究表明，如果你觉得开口说“不”越难，你就越有可能经受更多的压力，崩溃甚至沮丧。

　　Saying no is indeed a major self-control challenge for many people. When it's time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases such as "I don’t think I can" or "I'm not certain." Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them. 

　　对于许多人来说，说“不”的确是一项对自控力的挑战。当该说“不”的时候，高情商的人会避免使用“我觉得我不行”或“我不确定”等这类的短语。对新的承诺说“不”会让你遵守现有的承诺，并让你有机会成功履行承诺。

　　不计较错误

　　Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. 

　　高情商的人会和犯过的错误保持距离，但也不会遗忘它们。

　　付出且不求回报

　　When someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, this leaves a powerful impression. For example, you might have an interesting conversation with someone about a book, and when you see them again a month later, you show up with the book in hand. 

　　当某人主动送你东西，并不求回报时，会给你留下深刻印象。例如，你跟某人聊天时说起一本书，而且聊得很开心，一个月后再见到这个人时，你就带着书出现了。

　　Emotionally intelligent people build strong relationships because they are constantly thinking about others. 

　　高情商的人会与他人建立良好的人际关系，因为他们随时随地都在为他人着想。

　　不记仇

　　The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. 

　　带有仇恨的负面情绪实际上是一种压力反应。当威胁即将来临的时候，这种反应对你的生存至关重要。但当威胁已经远离的时候，你仍背负压力的话会伤害身体，长此以往，对身体健康也会造成损害。

　　In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. 

　　事实上，艾默理大学的研究员指出，背负压力会导致高血压和心脏病。心怀仇怨意味着背负压力，而高情商的人懂得无论如何都要避免这些伤害。

　　中和消极人群

　　Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. 

　　与难相处的人打交道会令大多数人感到沮丧和疲惫。但高情商的人在和消极人群的交流过程中能克制自己的情绪。

　　They identify their own emotions and don't allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person's standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground. 

　　高情商的人能清楚辨别自己的情绪，避免发怒和沮丧以免火上浇油。同时他们也能考虑难相处的人的立场并能够找出双方的共同话题和相处之道。

　　Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down. 

　　甚至在事态已完全失控时，高情商的人对消极人群的观点也会持保留态度，不会让他或她影响自己的心态。

　　不苛求完美

　　Emotionally intelligent people won't set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn't exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. 

　　高情商的人不会把完美当成自己追逐的目标，因为他们知道完美是不存在的。犯错是人类的本性。

　　When perfection is your goal, you're always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you've achieved and what you will accomplish in the future. 

　　当你追求完美时，你总是会受到挫败感的困扰，这种挫败感会让你放弃或减少努力。最后你只会把时间都浪费在哀叹那些没能做成和本应做好的事情上，而不是继续前进，并对自己做成的事情和未来将要实现的事情而感到兴奋。

　　断开连接

　　Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the moment. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors. 

　　高情商的又一表现就是学会定期断开连接，因为这将有助于你控制压力并活在当下。如果你每周七天、每天24小时随时准备迎接工作，你将让自己遭受压力的持续轰炸。

　　不让任何人影响到你的好心情

　　When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they've done, they won't let anyone's opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. 

　　当你的快乐和满足感源自他人对你的评价时，你就不再是能掌控自身幸福的主人了。高情商的人对自己所做的事感觉良好，不会轻易受他人观点或尖刻评论的影响。

　　While it's impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don't have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people's opinions with a grain of salt. 

　　虽然你不可能对他人的评价充耳不闻，但是你不必拿自己和其他人作比较，而且你可以对他人的观点持保留态度。

　　That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. 

　　这样的话，无论别人想什么或做什么，都无所谓，因为你的自我价值感源于内心。

　　这么一看，贺涵还真是满足了高情商几乎所有的条件，他可以搞定难搞的人，不易动怒，可以轻松地控制自己的情绪，不会让别人的评价影响自己的良好感觉，永远向前看，随时准备接纳改变，难怪他在剧中要风得风要雨得雨。

　　那么，看完了此文，你认为自己情商高吗？

　　英文来源：赫芬顿邮报